Your cart is currently empty.
How To Pick An Engagement Ring Without Her Knowing (Our Step-by-Step Guide)

How To Pick An Engagement Ring Without Her Knowing (Our Step-by-Step Guide)

She’s the love of your life and not only does she deserve the perfect engagement ring, but she deserves an epic surprise proposal to match! But how do you pick out an engagement ring without her knowing? The hardest part about a surprise is keeping it a secret (after all nobody likes a spoiler alert), but don’t panic. There are a few tips and tricks to figuring out the style of engagement ring your partner wants that will have you one step closer to popping the question. To make it even easier, we’ve created a step-by-step guide to make sure it’s a big YES to you and the ring.


Although you may know nothing about jewellery, you do know your partner. This is often the best place to start when designing a piece of jewellery that she will wear forever. Her diamond engagement ring is going to be on her finger every day, so it’s important to consider what types of activities it is likely to go through. Is your partner super delicate with her belongings? Perhaps she works in an office performing low-impact activities? Then she can most likely get away with that super dainty band and raised profile.

If your partner works in a more active role or is running around after the kids, then a durable setting with a lower profile will ensure longevity. Lifestyle factors will also come into play if you are considering a coloured gemstone engagement ring and this is worth discussing with a DX Diamond Specialist. Choosing a design with your partner’s personality and lifestyle in mind will ensure the perfect match.


Taking notice of the jewellery your partner already owns can help to narrow down some key elements. The first one being the colour of metal she prefers. Most women have a preference when it comes to this. If she has a few pieces in varying metal tones that she wears occasionally, go for the one she wears the most. Yellow and rose gold tend to stand alone as preferred choices but if your partner wears silver tone jewellery you have the choice of white gold or platinum.

It is also worth taking note of the type of jewellery she wears. Does she prefer ultra-fine, minimalist jewellery styles? Or does her collection feature thicker, antique-inspired pieces? Being able to describe her general style of clothing will help your DX Diamond Specialist narrow down styles and collections.


The shape of the diamond is the first important design decision you will have to make. Getting a good look at your partner’s hands may assist you with this decision. If she has long, slender fingers, an elongated shape such as; an emerald, pear, marquise or oval diamond shape may suit her best. If she has square palms with shorter fingers, then a round, cushion, princess or Asscher cut diamond will offer more flattering proportions. Maybe stop by some jewellery store windows and see what she points out.


Looking online for information is a fantastic starting point and most likely how you arrived at this article. There is one simple word that you need to keep in mind when doing this and that is -incognito! Be sure to conduct your diamond ring searches using incognito mode in your browser. This will make sure the searches aren’t saved in your internet history and will also prevent those unsubtle targeted ads on your social media platforms.


If you’ve completed the above steps and are still scratching your head regarding the diamond ring design, then this may be the time to use your phone-a-friend lifeline. Your best option will be those closest to her; her mum, sister or best friend. These are the ladies that know her best and are likely to know what she likes, or perhaps more importantly, what she doesn’t like. Ask their advice, get them to send through any reference pictures they think are relevant or bring them along to the consultation for support. Try to limit the number of people you ask for help as you don’t want to run the risk of a rumour spreading. But most importantly, pick the person who is best at keeping a secret.


Now that you’ve narrowed down some style elements, you can move onto the centre diamond. Brush up on the diamond grading system referred to as the 4C’s. There is no need to invest hours and hours into this research but it’s worth knowing the basics before you talk to an expert. A quick peruse of our diamond education guide is a great place to start.


You’re almost ready to book your consultation but there is one last important thing to think about, your budget! Although you may not have it figured out down to the dollar, it is important to have an idea of the amount you would consider spending on an engagement ring. Often it can be helpful to determine two key figures. The first one being the absolute limit of what you would be willing to spend and the second being the comfortable, or ideal amount you would want to spend.


Knowing her ring size will help make the proposal super smooth. She’ll be able to wear her engagement ring straight away and show it off to all her family and friends. DX can always provide you with a take home ring sizing kit or you can download one from our website. But if this sounds a little too risky, there are a few other options you can try.

If you can get your hands on a ring your partner already owns, then this will serve as a fantastic guide to the size of your partner’s hands. If you can bring this with you to the consultation it can be measured in-store to determine an exact size.

If this option just isn’t possible, then having access to a recent photo of your partner will help. Also knowing her clothing size will be a way for our DX Diamond Specialists to estimate an accurate ring size. But don’t fret if the size still isn’t quite right, DX offers a complimentary resize service.


Talking to an expert is a key step in choosing your engagement ring. A consultation with a DX Diamond Specialist will help you finalise any design decisions and optimise your budget. Being able to talk through all the information you have worked so hard to obtain will give you clarity and take the stress out of the process. Making a booking is easy and consultations can be done in our showrooms, over the phone or virtually.


Before you settle on a final design, be sure you ask about care and cleaning. Proper care and maintenance of the ring will ensure its longevity and avoid any future problems. Like any valuable purchase such as a car or home, it is important to have your engagement ring serviced and its value appraised. DX offer complimentary diamond ring cleaning, service checks and yearly appraisals for all their pieces.


Now that you’re on the home stretch with the engagement ring, it’s worth asking about wedding bands. Does the engagement ring design you selected have a matching wedding band? If it’s a customised design, is it possible to have a custom wedding band made to match? The details of these decisions can be made later with your partner, but it is certainly worth knowing your options before proceeding with the purchase.


Finally, ask when you can expect your engagement ring to be completed. This will help you to plan a suitable date for your proposal.

Congratulations, you’ve made it to the end of your checklist! Hopefully you’re feeling ready-as-ever to pop the big question. Missed something? We’re always here to help. Our DX Diamond Specialists are here to answer all your questions, book an appointment today.

Previous post Next post

Frequently Asked Questions

How to buy a diamond engagement ring

At DX, we aim to keep the process simple when purchasing the perfect engagement ring. From diamond to setting, our guide will guide you in selecting the most special engagement ring to be cherished for life.